Before You Close Your Eyes

“Remember, you’ve been brave” is written across the white board hung in my room to be one of the last things I see before closing my eyes and trying again tomorrow. Days can be filled with self-doubt, regret, frustration, embarrassment, fear, and destruction. My desire to hide in the corner grows fiercely in these things because if I never tried to be somebody to someone, I could sleep in peace without need for late night convincing. Yet here I am - frustrated, afraid, embarrassed, and full of self-doubt. Today I stepped out of the corner to be someone who did something that could maybe change somebody, and it hurt. Less so my feelings and more so my desire for protection. If I stay in the corner, I won’t ever face the fear that I may not be good enough.

Comfort paves an easy road to surrounding ourselves with things we know we can do so that our days might end wrapped in the safe arms of validation. This is perfectly acceptable but cannot reside in the same space as the desire to make a difference. Comfort won’t change a thing, only bravery will. So, at the end of the day, when every risk in exposure manifests itself at your mind’s door, remember, you’ve been brave.