I Lost My Favorite Hat

It disappeared when I let one of the kids borrow it after having a mental breakdown I later discovered was induced by long-term effects of trauma. It helped him calm down and take a nap. I saw it on the ground about an hour later and could have sworn I picked it up before we left but an empty closet would say otherwise.

My 8-year-old hat is not the only thing missing - jackets, shoes, hair ties, art supplies, a radio, food, a piano, furniture, blankets, sports equipment, t-shirts, shorts, socks, gas, and a chunk of what would have been in my savings account. Did I mention food? Oh, and then there's time. Lots and lots of time.

I love things aged by generations of stories. Fingers crossed I'll have a few things of my own to pass down to my kids but it's starting to look less likely. As I look around at my lessening pile of possessions, I've found myself standing halfway in to trading my dream of historical value for one of presence.

The future doesn't write itself. We are part of what comes and can often maneuver things in just the right way for tomorrow to turn out as good as planned. But I wonder how many opportunities we miss today because of what we do for tomorrow.

Full discloser: there are plenty of things I own I have found ways to keep for myself. Please note I said I was "halfway" into this thing. Also note, the majority of what I've given away has been lost or thrown out by now, but I don't think that makes any difference at all.

I guess all I'm saying is I think I'd rather hand my child a legacy of living and loving people in the moment instead of my high school sweatshirt.