Best Efforts of Love

We try. We try so hard. Again and again and again. To present the most beautiful and imaginative version of love we can find. We want it for ourselves - to give and receive so as to take part in some grand scheme of wholeness for which every heart aches. We want magic and awe. We want stories worth writing books about; stories that make the whole world swoon, point to what we have and say “That. That’s it. That’s what I want.”

Possible? Absolutely. Probable? Absolutely. Along with everything in between now and that moment.

Our paths are littered with gold. We pass it by because a glimmer blends in with the rest of the gravel. We pass it by because we assume it to be fools gold, skeptical of its worth as it is neither sizable nor in any place worth noticing. Our daily routines are not where we imagine we should find it, so we pass it by, claiming lack in lieu of unawareness.

I have so many loves and so many stories to share these loves but none that would catch attention because they require all of one sentence. Enormous amounts of love packed into one unimpressive sentence, sometimes no words at all.

A favorite comes in the form of a ring made from the wire of a key chain. I wore it on my thumb, then added it on to my key ring to remember him. You see a dirty loop of wire, I see a token of a long summer and hard-earned friendship.

Hugs, flowers, favorite shirts, comforting words, shared songs, inside jokes, nicknames, ice cream cake, high fives and good mornings. There are no grand gestures on the walk in-between. Only small gestures that mean the most because they aren’t for show, they are for you.

That. That’s it. That’s what I want.